Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
