apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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