I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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