Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
