Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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