arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
