WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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