Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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