I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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