And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
