it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
