She just used a chaser for red wine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
