i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
