can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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