I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
