is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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