Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
