OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize