he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
