it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
