Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
