He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
