I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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