I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
