For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
