He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
