oh god the rape fog is back!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
