WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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