Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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