i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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