Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
