worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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