We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
