so that wasnt chicken after all
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
