im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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