I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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