careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
