Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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