Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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