I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
