im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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