when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am one with the molecules
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
