I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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