ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
