Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize