Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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