hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
