Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
