it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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