Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
