Plan B is the new Plan A
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
