if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
