...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's official drugs can't kill me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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