obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
