does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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