walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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