my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
