My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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