don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
