Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
