I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
