It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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