I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
