I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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